The Phone Call

I’d like to apologize for my lack of “real” blogging over the past month. I know I’ve had periods in the past where my blogging has been a bit lame, but I don’t believe I’ve ever gone this long with only “Quote of the Month” posts to share.

I do have an excuse, though. It’s a good one. And it goes like this:

One morning in early October our phone rang at 5:50 a.m. My hubby’s alarm went off at the same time, so in our confusion we didn’t realize the phone was ringing and missed the call. Dialing into our voicemail we heard the following message:

“Hi Holly & Chris, this is Ruth-Mom. I’m calling to see if Holly can come over to let the dog out this morning?”

Huh?

“By the way, I’m having chest pain and we just called 9-1-1, so we’re expecting an ambulance any time now.”

Really, mom? REALLY?! That’s how you let us know you’re having a HEART ATTACK!

Long story short, my mom ended up spending 21 days in the hospital.

She didn’t enjoy it.

She had a catheterization, some lovely complications, a triple bypass, some more lovely complications including them sticking a tube up her nose for nutritional purposes.

She didn’t enjoy that either.

Finally, she was given the A-ok to go…

To Rehab.

She didn’t enjoy that either.

She was in rehab for a little over a week when she tried to escape. Seems they wanted to move her to a new room. She didn’t want to move to a new room. She wanted to go home. They insisted she stay. When I got there I found her in her new room eating dinner in a huff. She told me she was so mad she walked “ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE HALL!” This was a record.

She stayed the night, but scammed negotiated her release within two days.

She’s finally home. Tired but happier.

Needless to say, my writing life (& especially my blogging life!) has suffered. I’m going to try really hard to get back into my regular ol’ blogging groove, but with the holidays coming, I know I'm in for a real challenge. Right now, I wish I was one of those really cool bloggers who plans ahead and writes posts months in advance. Alas, *sigh*, that’s not me. Yet!

Image by: Ju-x

Quote of the Week

"Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were."

~ Chérie Carter-Scott ~

Image by: Vauvau

5 Advantages of Being a Cougar

Well, as my front lawn clearly BROADCASTS (thanks to my darling hubby!) I’m celebrating my 50^th birthday today! Some people feel weird about birthdays, especially milestones, but I love my birthday! The only one I truly recall having anxiety over was when I turned 18. I freaked out because I knew the world now considered me an adult but I felt like I didn’t know anything!

Now I know I don’t know anything, but I realize nobody else does either. Plus, I think I’m gonna sound way cool saying things like, “Yes, well, speaking from half a century of experience here…” and “Scuze me? Listen honey, I’ve been around for half a century, so I’m pretty sure I know a bit more about....” Stuff like that.

In addition to becoming half a century today, you may be surprised to know I’m also a…cougar. That’s right. I’m older than my husband. Now some people might not think that’s something to brag about either. But there are some definite advantages to being older than your husband. These are probably some of the very things Demi Moore thought about when she first married Ashton Kutcher.

Five Advantages of Being a Cougar

1. Your Status: There’s the obvious status boost you attain among your peers as a renowned cougar. A woman able to capture the love of a younger man. Added bonus: Arm candy! He looks fabulous on my arm at a party!

2. His Status: On the flip side, your man gets to brag about he’s ignited the love and passion of an older woman. Oooh, la, la!

3. Pancakes: It’s a well-known fact that women are better at, um, making pancakes when they’re older, and men are better at making pancakes when they’re younger. So, now your pancake making will be perfectly aligned.

4. Arguments: If you figure out you’re losing an argument, you can always fall back on the line, “Honey, thanks for sharing your thoughts. But, let’s face it. I’ve got much more life experience than you have. So let’s just defer to me on this little matter, hm?”

And my personal favorite…

5. Driving: You know those rare occasions when you’re actually the one driving and your hubby is in the passenger seat? And he’s providing you with all sorts of unnecessary and unwanted driving advice? At those times I just turn to him and say, “Sweetheart, you just sit there and look good. I've been driving A LOT longer than you have, so I’ll take it from here.”

Postscript: Chris yelling from the background, “Knock it off! You’re ONLY 17 months older than I am!”

Shhhhh!

Five Tips for Marital Bliss

Today is my hubby’s and my 26^th Wedding Anniversary! I was going to write a short post sharing some of the wisdom I’ve gained on maintaining marital bliss for over a quarter of a century, but I stumbled upon this video and I cannot even begin to compete with the hysterical advice of Selma and Kenny! Married 72 years, they created this short video sharing their five tips for a happy marriage with their about-to-be-married grandson.

I PROMISE you this video is worth the entire four minutes to watch. But even if you can only hang around for two, do it. I was cracking up! And now, I give you…

Selma & Kenny

Quote of the Week

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."

~ Mohandas K. Gandhi ~

Image by JaseCurtis

Do’s & Don’ts for Parents of a College Freshman

I know for some parents, this commercial rings true. But we just sent our oldest off to start her third year of college last weekend, and as happens every year since she was a freshman, I’m feeling a little blue.

Of course, I’m not nearly as bad as I was her first year away. Freshman year was the WORST! Oh mama, was I ever a basket case! Older wiser parents assured me it would get better, but I didn’t believe them. How could this gaping hole in my heart ever go away? Surely, I would never be happy again.

But, believe it or not, those older, wiser parents were right. It did get better. Eventually. So, I figured maybe I’d share a few of my suggested “DO’s” and “DON’Ts” for those parents who have just, or are about to, deposit their firstborn into the college life and are now trying to adjust to daily life without them. Sooo, here goes…

DO appreciate how clean and lovely her bedroom looks and REMAINS when she’s not currently living in it.

DON’T dwell on how much you miss him. Get out. Have lunch with friends. Try something new. Laugh.

DO come up with little personal touches to let her know you’re thinking about her. Send random videos of the family dog doing something that always makes her smile. Figure out creative long-distance ways to share inside family jokes. Send care packages or good old-fashioned letters.

DON’T text him every five minutes to see how things are going. Try to hold off until at least every ten.

DO be prepared to participate in in-depth conversations at 12:30 a.m. on the one night you’re so exhausted you were planning to go to bed early. Even though she’s having fun on her new college adventure, there will still be those moments when she needs your comfort or advice—and she’ll need it NOW.

And whatever you do, DON’T listen to Owl City’s Vanilla Twilight! I know this is supposed to be a simple love song, but I it fits perfectly for a parent/child relationship as well. I know it’s tempting to click that play button down there, but step away from the blog. (If you simply can’t resist, however, make sure you have some tissues nearby.)

You will survive!

Your Unrecognized Awesomeness

So, my lovely author and blogging e-friend (yes, I just made that word up!) Heidi Willis recently wrote a post about this book titled, You Are Good at Things: A Checklist by Andy Selsberg. The author makes readers aware that we are all most likely suffering from “unrecognized awesomeness”! For example, perhaps…

* You have the uncanny ability to always notice when someone has gotten a new haircut.

* You can make the last half-ounce of toothpaste last for a month.

* You are an expert at remote controlling, or…

* You're a wizard at resisting the urge to eat all the cheese right after grating it.

According to this quirky book’s description, it offers “a celebration of all your secret skills and unheralded abilities. It calls attention to the way you're able to give your kids names that will never appear on key chains at gift shops, and cheers your talent for wrapping presents using very little tape. In your own way, you're a master, and the world should know it. Because let's face it: You are good at things!”

I was cracking up at the things Heidi and her commenters acknowledged they were good at, and thought to myself, “What the heck, my blog friends and I are good at stuff, too.”

So I’m totally ripping off her blog post topic!

For the record, I’d like to give Heidi full credit for the idea and encourage you all to visit her blog: And Also...because there's always something else to say. I truly enjoy her posts! And while I’m at it, I’ll give her terrific book another plug. Some Kind of Normal is a great read. If you haven’t bought it already, get it—it’s wonderful!

And now, let’s all share some things we’re good at. I’ll go first:

*  I’m good at stealing other people’s blog ideas and using them on my blog!

*  I’m good at reading manuals.

*  I’m gifted at not dusting.

*   I’m great at making dinners that cause the smoke alarm to go off.

*   I have a talent for staying up way too late every night. 

*   I’m good at having two-way conversations with my dog.

*   I’m good at interrupting people’s stories to ask questions and get more details.

*   I’m terrific at freaking out in crisis situations.

*   I’m amazingly good at procrastinating.

*   I’m wonderful at embarrassing my kids in public.

*   I’m good at making character voices when reading a story aloud.

My daughter told me I had to write this one:

*  I’m great at getting overly emotional about animals getting injured on film and in real life.

Okay, your turn!