Butt Out, Mom!

At what point are moms supposed to stop butting into their children’s lives? (And no mom, of course I’m not talking about you. ;) I’m really struggling against the urge to butt in to a situation concerning my 16-year-old right now. We attended her cross country team banquet last week where something happened that has me spittin’ mad!

Let me back up.

It’s tradition for the cross country coach to announce next year’s team captains at the banquet. Typically the captains are selected from the (incoming) seniors. Well last year, the coach surprised everyone by also naming one junior as captain, along with the seniors. Fast forward to this year. The junior captain injured her toes at the beginning of the season and stopped attending practices and meets. I don’t know if any readers here have teens who participate in sports, but typically, an injured teammate will still occasionally show up for some games, or in this case meets, to offer team support. We’ve had other injured runners over the years (including my daughter) that made it a point to attend several, if not all of our home meets. But not the junior captain. Not one meet.

Now onto the banquet. It is the junior girls’ job to organize gifts for the departing seniors. It was down to a week before the event, and we hadn’t heard a peep out of Ms. Junior Captain. So my daughter and another junior stepped up to the plate and handled everything in a now crunch-time situation. But they did it! And the gifts were awesome, stupendous, wonderful! (Yeah, okay I did butt in a bit in helping decide what the gift should be.)

Anyway, $3 was collected to pay for said gifts from each member of the team, with the exception of one girl. You-know-who. Even after the girls made THREE phone calls to her!

I know I’m totally whining now, but bear with me.

Fast forward again to the evening of the banquet. The coach talked for THREE hours of the FOUR-hour banquet, and amongst her many speeches she went on and on about the wonderful leadership this junior has provided throughout the season.


Then the coach announced the captains for next year. She named You-know-who, then completely disregarded my daughter and the other incoming seniors who have been committed to the team for the past three years, and instead selected a handful of sophomores to become the new captains.

Again, huh?

I was so angry I could barely contain myself. I bit my tongue. But since that night, I’ve drafted letter after letter in my mind to this….this coach, to let her know what I think of her decision-making abilities and her incredible lack of observation skills. Oh don’t worry, I haven’t actually put pen to paper…yet. I’m so tempted!

Of course my daughter was shocked and extremely upset by the situation. To her credit, she’s already met with this coach to express her feelings about the matter, but it wasn’t a very effective meeting. I’m proud of her for attempting to handle it; but I’m still battling the urge to butt in.

So what do you think? To butt in or not to butt in?


jerzegirl said...

Don't do anything.. your daughter handled it well. It is the coach that is a butthead.. She would probably be a butthead to you too.

Your daughter learned a valuable lesson. She spoke her peace. It's not her fault that the coach ignored her complaint.

Your daughter will run into this in life with bosses, co workers etc.. it's a good learning experience. Just make certain it doesn't stop her from making her point.


coffeeboone said...

That certainly sounds unfair. I guess you could have a polite word to the coach, maybe? There may be a new policy he has to go by where a junior 'has' to be selected that he is trying to promote, rather than the girl??? I don't know, but...