Scholarships

Once our daughter's high school play finished up in the fall, she tried unsuccessfully to get a job. You'd think retail shops would've at least been hiring temporary help in preparation for the holiday season. But, no.

So we decided that instead of looking for a job, her new job would be applying for college scholarships. Ideally, she's devoting around 10 hours a week—the same hours an outside-the-home part-time job would require—applying for scholarships.

Initially we were having her do all the legwork in terms of seeking out scholarships for which she was qualified. We quickly realized, however, this was using up too much of her time. So instead, her father and I became her assistants. It's our job to identify the scholarships. We turn them over to her and it's her job to research and write the essays, fill out the applications and submit them by their respective deadlines.

 While using online searches, fastweb.com and a massive, 2-inch thick book on scholarships available across the country, I've encountered an awful lot of very specific, and er—unique scholarships.

 The other day, after reading one entry, I sighed loudly to my hubs. "Oh darn it, honey. We could have had Ashleigh apply for this scholarship for nudists, but we would have had to have been practicing nudists for at least a year before applying. What a bummer!"

 Without glancing up, he flipped a page of his newspaper and replied, "That's all right. We can join now. Then we'll be in plenty of time for Josh in three years."

 Yup. Great sense of humor, that guy.

 Anyway, in order to save you research time and help plan ahead for those not yet in the market for college scholarships, I thought I'd give you a quick summary of what's out there:

• Got Milk? Consider the National Dairy Shrine Scholarship. It's for those entering a 4-year university to major in dairy/animal science with a communications emphasis.

• Prom is several months away. So your child and his or her date still have plenty of time to create their prom attire made entirely of duct tape. Then they'll be eligible to enter the Duct Brand Duct Tape Stuck at Prom Scholarship Contest!
   
• Are you into languages? Pretend languages? Well then maybe you should apply for the Klingon Language Institute Award.

• This scholarship "quacks" me up! There is up to $2,000 available for winners of the Chick & Sophie Major Memorial Duck Calling Contest.

• It's in the cards, especially if you're a high school or college bridge player under the age of 26.

• Standing tall? One thousand bucks to a college-bound high school senior girl over 5'10".
   
• Excellence in Predicting the Future Award! Okay, this one just sounded funny, but in all fairness, this scholarship is for students interested in economics.

• Thinking about majoring in bagpipe? Carnegie Mellon University Bagpipe Scholarship awards one applicant every year a $7,000 scholarship to study bagpipe.

• Giddyap all you students who have shown achievement with Morgan horses. Not any other kind of horses. Just Morgan horses.

• If you are the legal dependent of a travel plaza/truck-stop industry employee, you're in luck!
   
• If you are a graduating high school senior with a GPA between 3.5 and 3.74, this one's for you.

• And finally, we have the Society of Vacuum Coaters Foundation Scholarship. Wow, I learn something new every day. I had no idea vacuums even wore coats!

Oh, hey! I think I've actually found one for ya', Ashleigh! It's a scholarship specifically for left-handed people. This is great, it's worth up to $5,000! It—oh, wait. It says you have to be left-handed and attending Juniata College in Pennsylvania. Bummer.

Like I said. Very specific.

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