Thursday, February 4, 2010

Welcome to Suburbia: As the Neighbors Turn (Episode 1)

Over the past seven years, we've had a lot of new neighbors. This isn't so unusual when you consider that three homes beside us are rental homes. The homeowners moved and were unable to sell, so they went the rental route instead.

At first, it wasn't any big deal. We had a lovely family from Germany who enjoyed hanging their clothing outside to dry. Very European. They were followed by a delightful older couple from Ohio who shared their delicious chocolate-covered peanut-butter Buckeye confections with us on occasion. It was all warm and friendly for several years. Little did we know we were experiencing the calm before the storm.

We had some not-so-nice neighbors move in after that; my hubby and I breathed resounding sighs of relief when they finally moved out.

The house next door stood vacant for a time, but the next house over got their first renter. This home's backyard also butts up against ours and features a beautiful inground swimming pool. We discovered our new neighbor was to be a single, 26-year-old model.

I arched a brow at my hubs and made the "I'm watching you" finger sign in response to his goofily grinning face.

Now, let me preface what I'm about to say by explaining that I'm not normally a nosy neighbor. Truly! But come on! A model? Really? I was curious to know how a single, 26-year-old model could afford the rent on a fairly decent-sized home in the suburbs. I figured she had to be pretty phenomenal.

Our kitchen window just happens to overlook my neighbor's backyard and pool. So naturally, while working in the kitchen one afternoon, I couldn't help but notice the model wearing a little hot-pink number and prancing around the edge of the pool as she gabbed animatedly on her cell phone.

I squinted through the glass, but couldn't really get a good look. I required some additional magnification. Dragging out my hubby's binoculars, I tried zooming in on her. But everything was just a big blur. As I fiddled with the dials, my son (13-yrs. old at the time) happened to enter the kitchen.

"Watcha doing, mom?"

"Can you help me focus these binoculars?" I asked handing them to him.

He took them and aimed out the window, expertly turning the focusing dial. "It's not hard mom, you just have to—" At that instant, the model looked directly at him, then flailed her arms in an exaggerated "What the heck!" motion.

My son's face turned beet red and his eyes bugged out. He threw the binoculars at me like they'd burned him. "Mooooom! What are you thinking? I'm a 13-year-old boy! Great! This is just great," he grumbled as he stomped from the room.

"Thanks," I said feeling a tad bit guilty. For about a second. Then I stepped back into the shadows and whipped the lenses up for a better look.

Hmm…maybe she's a hand model, I thought.

Meanwhile there was some new action going on next door...

(Stay tuned for next week's episode of Welcome to Suburbia: As the Neighbors Turn)

Image by: Heather Elias


The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

Oh that was priceless!!!!!!!! I can't WAIT to find out more.

We have my parents on one side and some not so nice people on the other side :-(

Brandy said...

OOOH so intriguing. what's next?

Kristine said...

This is funny! You tell the story so well. Your poor son. I'm dying to know what happens. BTW, I know what it's like to have crazy neighbors--we'll have to talk sometime.

Melanie said...

I'm determined to outlast some of our neighbors. Especially the grown men who still live with their parents and insist on PARKING IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE EVERY DAY. (yes, it drives me crazy - what gave you that clue?)

Susan R. Mills said...

Ha! That is so funny. I love it.

Dalia (Generation X Mom) said...

That was great! I usually don't read long posts but this one kept me reading!

Sandie Lee said...

This is good :)

Tara McClendon said...

That's so funny. It sounds like something my youngest would do--except he'd probably keep looking. :] Thanks for dropping by my blog.

Cole said...

Hahahaha! We have some ODD neighbors in the condo next door... Mommy tries to avoid conversations with them.

Heidi Willis said...

Too funny! I love the image of your son!

Salt said...

HA! OMG your son got SO BUSTED! :) I can't decide whether to laugh hysterically or feel sorry for him.

Name: Holly Bowne said...

You should definitely feel sorry for him, Salt. He has to put up with me for a mom! Ha, ha! ;o)

Lea said...

Holly, this is hysterical! I can picture doing this myself... can't wait to read Episode 2. :)

Christine Holroyd said...

"Mooooom! What are you thinking? I'm a 13-year-old boy! Great! This is just great,"

I love this rather mature reaction from your son, berating you. LOL

I've conjured up some amusing pictures in my mind with this post.

Thanks for the laugh.

Tina T said...

As the mom of a son who just turned 13, I laughed so hard at this. My son is embarrassed if I tell him to have a nice day loudly enough for his friends to hear. I can't imagine what he'd do if I got him busted looking at the neighbors through binoculars.