Welcome to Suburbia: As the Neighbors Turn (Episode 2)


If you missed "Welcome to Suburbia: As the Neighbors Turn (Episode 1)" click here.


For the rest of you, if you recall, I left off in my story with the hand model who had just moved in behind us.

Well, I noticed whenever my hubs was outside working in the yard with the kids, the hand model would always come up to the fence for a chat or bearing an invitation to a pool party she was hosting. However, whenever I happened to be outside, she was always mysteriously absent. I wasn't worried, though. I may be five-feet tall, but I knew I could take her. (Biceps are flexing now as I write.)

Actually, things remained relatively peaceful on that front. Then in the late fall, we noticed some new activity going on in the vacant house next door. We learned a woman and her twenty-something daughter were moving in. We didn't see much of our new neighbors, as we had the other families who'd lived there before them. They were rarely outside. Winter passed, then spring. Finally, we were in the heat of the summer.

One afternoon, as my husband stood looking out our family room window at their house he said, "Have you ever noticed our new neighbors keep the windows and curtains shut all the time?"

I looked over curiously. Sure enough it was buttoned up tight. "What's so weird about that?"

"That house doesn’t have any air conditioning."

"Oh."

"Hmm..." He was frowning now. "I'm calling the police."

"What for?"

"Because something weird is going on over there."

"What, just because the windows are shut all the time?"

"Not just that. Haven't you noticed how different cars keep pulling up and parking at the side of the house? It's always men who get out and they never go to the front door. They always knock at the garage side entrance. They go in. Stay for a short time, and then they leave."

I looked at him blankly for a moment, then his point finally dawned on me. "No WAY!"

He nodded grimly, picking up the phone. He followed up that call with a call to the "real" owner, just to let him know what we suspected.

"What did he say?" I asked after he hung up.

"He told me he'd been having trouble getting the rent from them. And guess what their stated professions are on their application?"

"What?"

"Masseuses."

"Get outta here!"

"I'm serious!" he started laughing.

"This isn't funny! Are you telling me we are living next door to a BROTHEL?! For cryin' out loud we live in the suburbs!"

A hand model I can deal with, but a brothel? No way. I immediately started praying that these people would be removed, like NOW. Thank goodness, a few months later my prayers were answered and the brothel was evicted, with our two children none the wiser, fortunately. A little while after that, the hand model moved on as well.

The houses both stood vacant for a time. But a few weeks ago, I watched moving trucks arriving, bringing in two sets of new neighbors. A single dad next door and a family of six in the inground pool house. Well, that sounds pretty normal, right? Right?! (Sigh) Here's hopin'.



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17 comments:

Brandy said...

wow - a brothel?! that's so entertaining. I woulda had my nose stuck to the glass. and just think you wouldn't have noticed if you husband hadn't pointed it out

Ivy said...

No way! How oddly funny. When we moved into our new house, we were pretty sure our neighbors were talking.

My husband was still working from home, I work from home and we just simply never left. Both of our jobs shipped a lot of items to our house. We could just feel the eyes on us.

Don't worry neighbors, we're legit.

Mrsblogalot said...

Imagine what great blog stuff-along with other things- that brothel-could have provided (-:

The Mommyologist said...

OMG! I would've DIED!!! Did they move out or are they still there??

Salt said...

Wow! Your hubs is a smart one to pick up on that! I never would have thought in a million years!

I hope your new neighbors turn out to be nice and normal. It sounds like you guys have been through quite enough already!

JoeyRes said...

We just moved to a neighborhood after living in an apartment for six months. We lived under a short-term corporate apartment with a revolving door of people, each more annoying than the last. I never thought of ending up with renters in a neighborhood! Hopefully the economy will come back and the real owners can sell to nice families so your Suburbia experience can calm down.

Name: Holly Bowne said...

Thanks for all the great comments, guys! And no worries, Mommyologist, they're gone! Thank goodness!

Your Mommy Friend Lori said...

NO WAY! OMG, craaaazy! Your husband's reaction was too funny, mine would have done the same thing! Love your site!

Marissa said...

Great story! I can't believe that really happened!

Theta Mom said...

Oh man, that's CRAZY!!! Yeah - here's hoping the new neighbors are "normal." ;)

Name: Holly Bowne said...

Hey, thanks for stopping by ladies. And yup, it really did happen Marissa! If nothing else, at least it makes a great story! ;o)

Meagan Frank said...

That's funny! It is always entertaining to imagine what might happen inside the houses of our neighbors. I laughed at Ivy's comment because my hubby and I work from home mostly too, and there are lots of deliveries with rare appearances from the two of us. My solution to curbing the rumors was to throw a party...then they didn't have to guess...they had stories from first-hand accounts:)

Sandie Lee said...

Wow!! I never thought that would happen. Great story, though :)

Is Dis Normal or Dysfunctional? said...

Great story Holly,

My brother in law helped us to buy the land for our new house and just messing with me, he told me that our neighbor was a 28 year old x Victoria Secrets Model & a divorcee. I was not too happy because lonely, single women tend to attach themselves to my sweet and beautiful husband.

Luckily, our neighbor was nowhere near threatening and I am very happy for that.

As for a brothel next door...my husband would be all over that!

Annette Piper said...

Oh my, you certainly have had some 'colourful' neighbours! Nothing nearly so exciting here I'm afraid. Farmers, farmers and more farmers *sigh*

Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip said...

Wow, you sure do have an interesting life. Hand models, prostitutes, what's next? Movie stars and porn actors? Glad to hear your kids weren't any the wiser though!

Swati said...

Oh my goodness -this may be better than some of the shows on TV!! that is really incredible - and yuck...I'm glad they've now moved away with your kids none the wiser. I wonder how they marketed themselves...hmm? Suburban Delight? Located in a great school system?

The hand model intrigues me too (who did she think she was, waving her limbs around like that?)

Thanks for the laugh!
Swati